Topic: So... how is everybody doing?

[TerraEsperZ]

Given how quiet it's been around here lately, I thought it might be interesting to share how we're all doing, what with COVID-19, the current political climate and message boards in general slowly dying out...

Personally, things are going very well at the moment but that's only because I hit rock bottom a while ago.

Five and a half months ago to be precise, I was diagnosed with occupational burnout after years of being overworked, experiencing symptoms similar to when I was suffering from sleep apnea (lack of mental energy, difficulty to concentrate, no interest in anything) only much worse, up to and including suicidal ideation.

Thankfully, I work in the public sector so I was able to retain my job while my doctor put me on extended leave in order to rest and heal up. Today, after five and a half months, a lot of rest, weekly psychotherapy sessions and the appropriate dosage of antidepressant, I feel like I've been reborn.

First of all, the medication worked wonder to take care of the constant anxiety that has been the background of my life for at least several decades. Also, the psychotherapy has helped me to understand myself a lot better. I now have names for how what has been making my life so difficult for so long, namely "social anxiety disorder" and "avoidant personality disorder". Over the last few months, I've finally been able to do simple things I had been putting off for years because of my anxiety, such as changing Internet provider, contacting an old acquaintance after years of silence or just posting on this forum about my thoughts and feelings without overly worrying about what people will think of me!

I still have so much to do to improve my life, but I feel like I'm finally moving forward at a good pace.

As for VGMaps, I still visit every week but for the longest time, I was just too tired or anxious to post anything. Needless to say, I haven't done a lot of mapping lately aside from trying to give my own twist to a game that has already been mapped several times (Metroid II: Return of Samus).

I've been mostly playing, especially since I finally bought a Nintendo Switch a few weeks before being diagnosed. There were finally enough games I wanted to justify the price and both Super Mario Odyssey as well as The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild helped to keep me sane during those first few months before I could start both medication and therapy. I still have several others I haven't even started yet (Luigi's Mansion 3 and Metroid Dread) but I've been too busy with positive real life stuff!

Browsing my mapping folder earlier today, I've been thinking of maybe starting a thread where I could post samples of my many, *many* failed and/or abandoned project and discuss them. What I was hoping to achieve, why I eventually gave up, etc. Maybe it might motivate others to post about their own failed project, who knows?

Anyway, I hope everyone who's still around is doing well and if not, that they get the help and support they need.
Take care everyone!

[JonLeung]

Hi Terra,

Glad to hear from you.  I know the pandemic has had its toll on people, and it's always good to hear that people are still around, doing okay, and getting better, as you are.  Even though I haven't met most of you VGMaps sort-of-regulars in real life, I still feel like I know some of you *enough* over the years that I sometimes go, "what happened to _____?", and I think it's more than just wondering why they haven't sent in maps.  I don't know if I or any of us would know if people are no longer with us - or that they simply lost interest in VGMaps, or focused on something else in their life.  The latter of which is a good thing!  Life is about living, after all.

Thanks for sharing, Terra.

Since you asked, here is how I am doing:

As for myself, a year ago at work - give or take a day or two - literally last November, I was told that my position was being phased out.  They were outsourcing my position (and everyone's across Canada) to people in Colombia.  I get the impression this was something that was in the works for a while - I imagine the pandemic probably accelerated those plans.  Guess I couldn't be there forever, as I was there for like 16 years (or 15 and some - really depends if you count my time as a temp)...  I was probably too comfortable and so I am not sure if it was something that needed to happen in the grand scheme of things, you know, like I kind of wanted to leave on my own terms, but sometimes life gives us a kick in the pants to get moving, maybe?  At least they made it clear that it was not based on performance or anything that I did, it was just a nationwide decision, so I didn't take it (more) personally and I still have good references and would even be welcome back if an opportunity were to arise in the future.  But for now, I had to prepare to go.

I had two months to train a nice lady from Barranquilla (where Sofia Vergara and Shakira are from) over Zoom how to do my job and in January I was laid off.  I had severance pay which was okay, so I didn't worry too much - and just as it was about to "run out" of that (I mean, I still have savings, of course), my friend got me a job at his organization.  It's been a couple months now, and I still don't feel "settled in" because I've only been in the office the first day and since been working at home, so I still don't really know people.  It will be interesting when we do return to the office - possibly spring - as this workplace is literally one train stop away from my old workplace, and I promised I'd visit occasionally, which wouldn't be hard.  I heard from my Colombian replacement that she found a new position literally at the same time that I did, which I found amusing.

I've been working on YouTube projects in the meantime, if you follow me on YouTube you can see I've had some output.  The output hasn't been increased much at all in the eight months when I didn't have work, as a combination of sometimes feeling burnt out or procrastination.  Or I was inefficient (even more than usual) as I struggled with guilt about doing anything that wasn't job hunting.  I thought I could make a dent in my gaming backlog but I often felt guilty if I played games for more than an hour a day.  But when I did focus on my videos, I'd like to think I've improved them immensely in the past several months - getting a decent microphone was a big help, and utilizing my green screen better, adding subtitles, that sort of thing.  My most recent original video reviewing "A Guide To Japanese Role-Playing Games" has an impressive watch time.  While the views aren't tons more than usual, according to the stats, the ones who DO watch it watch on average about almost seven minutes of it - better than most other videos when people tune out after one minute, so that's proof that I'm doing something right - or at least better than before.  The book review I'm working on now is a book that is the first to be sent to me specifically for review purposes, which I feel is a step towards being a "legitimate" reviewer, right?  So I'm happy about making progress that way.  I'm shy of two-thirds of the way to monetization (which requires 1000 subscribers), so that's something.  It's slow growth, but steady and with the occasional boost, so I'm content there.

I got a WalkingPad in March 2020 - not because of the pandemic, it just happened to arrive then after months of waiting after supporting it from crowdfunding - and I haven't missed a day of walking on it since.  I usually do 8 kilometers (well, it uses imperial units, so, 5 miles) a day, which takes a little over an hour since I usually walk at 4 or 4.5 mph.  I'm down 21 pounds - though 11 of those pounds are actually from since August when I cut sugar out of my diet.  I mean, it's not 100% avoidance - but cutting out juice and a considerable amount of snacking still seems to have made a difference.  I wouldn't've considered myself fat, but I am at a more comfortable and healthy weight now for sure, and I don't intend to let up on the daily walking.  So I'm doing well there.

I hung out with friends and saw "Eternals" and went out to eat last night, for the first time since the pandemic began.  The last time I was in a movie theatre before yesterday evening was in February 2020 for "Sonic The Hedgehog".  The province in Alberta has its particular issues with a lot of anti-science people here, but overall, things are getting better.  I hope things can be normal by next spring so I can celebrate my 40th, 41st, and 42nd birthday all at once (a little silly, I know, but I do want to celebrate my milestone birthday still) as well as travel to Japan.  I know there's a possibility things won't be comfortable enough next spring, but I am optimistic that both those things (a party and travel) will eventually happen.  Just taking it a day at a time.

If anyone else wants to share, that's what these forums are for.  If you don't want to open up as much as Terra and I, that's okay too, but it would at least be nice to hear if you are around and okay.

[VGCartography]

I'm at 1.5 years working from home after what we thought would be a couple weeks quarantine turned into this. I actually quite like it, my wife works at home as well and it has given us a lot more opportunities with our toddler and less time commuting/preparing/running around. Many house projects completed. I work for a university and they are reluctant to force people back anytime soon.

It has also given me time to explore many hobbies, starting a journal, cataloging books and games and digital data and all of that. Near the end of 2020, after years of dabbling with little game-related infographic projects, I started a more focused effort to make some maps for Grand Theft Auto III because I just went for the PS4's platinum trophy and felt the materials out there didn't do a great job communicating visually, given we could now fly around the map in noclip.website and the like. I made some little images in powerpoint (didn't want to learn photoshop), updated the guide, ended up recording a short youtube video about it and had a good time. Started poking around what other similar resources might be available for games from my childhood. Eventually went so far as to rename my twitter account and sort of separate "me" personally and "VGCartography map account" that had become my standard relaxation activity once the rest of the family went to bed.

https://www.deviantart.com/vgcartography/gallery
I haven't done a good job keeping VGMaps updated with my output over 2021 (Jon, I will email you about some of these - just finished Mega Man Legends and Tomba maps were all remade) but I've spent more time on these graphic projects than I have playing video games this year probably. There isn't a ton of engagement though - twitter is only good for fleeting impersonal interactions, reddit is a little better but similar - not much conversation, can't ask for advice, etc. I've wished this forum was still more active as it seems like it once was, and to Terra's point about dying out I've wondered if Jon/I/someone started a discord server for game map people it might bring more engagement?

I don't love discord/slack because it's difficult to look back in time, but it would be fun to have a more active place for people to put heads together. I've had the most luck for old PS1 games trawling their discord communities for efforts to extract assets (how I mapped Mega Man Legends, Tomba, others) and I do think there is an audience for it - not long ago someone made a viral tweet about StarFighters76's GameFAQs maps and shortly afterwards they joined twitter and several hundred people followed them. Is that a blasphemous idea?

[DarkWolf]

Terra, I'm glad you found help with your burnout. I had to take a job in 2016 that I didn't really like, but the contract I was working on previously fell out and need to find work quickly. Then, I stayed there because I couldn't find something better in the first year I was there. So that's taken a lot of energy out of me and I haven't really done any VG related stuff until recently. 2020 and 2021 have been an additional challenge and I find myself having to take time off of work just so I don't walk out. I managed to get back into some minor things this year, I've worked on the remake of the Blake Stone maps off and on, and I've submitted a few things over on The VG Resource. I would like to ramp things up, but the motivation isn't always there, so I'm limiting myself.

I'm definitely interested in the idea of a Discord space. I actually find it easier to keep up with than a bunch of separate forums.

[Revned]

Hey there. Glad to hear that things are looking up for you, Terra. Sounds like you've had a rough time, but here's hoping that will remain in the past now!

The pandemic has been a pretty mixed bag for me. I was already living a pretty reclusive life and was trying to push myself to become more social, but when I shifted to working from home I had the perfect excuse to stop trying to improve myself   It's been fine, really - I'm introverted and don't have much trouble finding fun things to do at home. But it's felt like my life has just kind of been on pause for the last year and a half.

I'm not quite as into retro gaming as I used to be, or at least my interests are gradually catching up to the times. I did replay several Mario and Zelda games earlier this year, though. But more recently I've played some games I've missed from the PS3 and newer. Right now I'm on Dark Souls, which I purchased years ago but never got around to. I also picked up Metroid Dread over the weekend and plan to start that soon.

It's hard to say, but I'm not sure if I'll do any more mapping in the future. About 5 years ago I went through all my past work and arranged them onto my site. I had made a list of potential future projects, but it was very short at the time and I haven't come up with more ideas since then. Pretty much all the games I'd be interested in are either done already or infeasible with my screenshot copy-paste techniques. And these days it seems like a lot of newer games have map editors or other ways to view the levels, so there isn't as much need for the old manual process. But we'll see, maybe something will pique my interest again at some point.

[Grizzly]

Hi, it's pleasant to hear from you all.

I lost interest in the manual mapping with Windows Paint when I saw how much time improvement one could get with some of these automatic stitching tools. But because I felt that it would be even greater when such a tool could automatically distinguish foreground and background planes (a thing that would have been handy for my ongoing Rayman maps because PS1 and MS-DOS emulators didn't support the switch to Background only as in other emulators), I started to work on creating an image processing program in Java. I dreamt of the perfect mapping helper, conveniently working on every operating system. But it was more difficult than I thought it would be, creating movement vectors of scenery parts and recognizing what part is (parallax) background, foreground map and sprites/HUD. After months of working on it whenever I had time I had nothing working. So it slowly phased out of my sight. And with it the whole mapping because I felt guilty doing anything manual stitching when I could have invested the same time into my mapping helper code.

Since then (2011/2012) I only play games for playing's sake. Creativity-wise I still do some programming now and then but mostly for parsing texts. When I recently saw that there is a TypeScript map viewer working directly in the browser, it felt like the future for animated/interactive maps and I thought of working with it but the whole technology stack is a big hurdle to overcome and I still haven't set up a development environment where I can compile and run such code.

The pandemic is very easy to bear for me because also before all this I didn't interact much with the outside world. My last cinema visit still has been Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in June 2018. I wouldn't describe my previous years' behavior as anxiety but yet it is exhausting for me to talk with non-relatives (and also write, so I keep online live chats at a minimum, too). Now with the pandemic ongoing, I have new problems considering doing anything for fun at people hotspots because I would feel guilty for getting a corona virus infection for participating in a not-required activity - despite being vaccinated against. I accepted one dinner with work colleagues in December and there may be one Advent stroll event (outdoors booths) with my relatives and I already feel guilty just for telling that I might do it and maybe be responsible for another two weeks of pandemic. I can't remember doing any previous leisure activities in public for this year. Every single one was related to work, health or supplies. And private meetings also have been only with first-degree family members and their spouses.

In case I haven't told you yet, JonLeung, I like watching your Youtube videos. I even more enjoyed watching your convention vlogs for the impressions I last experienced live in 2000 (Expo 2000 ) if you don't count flea markets, but I also have a soft spot for all the little details and anecdotes in your book reviews.

[StarFighters76]

So I am still around, still making MSPaint maps (planning on reaching 3,600 maps by years end). Although now because of some decent exposure, I decided to now use Twitter to show off my work and  hopefully it'll go somewhere for me.

Next Spring, it'll be 20 years since I've started game mapping and really, there are times that it's hard to keep it going. And now because I have been at it for so long, I want to get something more out of it. And yes, that includes money (still trying to work that out in my head). Sure I should be doing this for fun and free, but after 20 years, how much longer can I really be saying that? And after one interview with PC Gamer (not even sure if that went anywhere) and another interview that never happened, plus when someone gave me a shout-out on Twitter and my work went viral, I really feel like it's time I become more proactive and start aiming for bigger things. Though it's doubtful it'll happen, but who knows I guess.

[TerraEsperZ]

It's nice to hear from all of you!

JonLeung, I've also thought of this place as a kind of second family over the last two decades. Months ago, when my thoughts were at their darkest, I was worried that nobody here would ever hear about it if I was gone. Now that I'm feeling much better, this isn't really a concern anymore but I should probably leave a note in my safe about it. If anything happened to any of you guys, I would hope to hear about it also.

You mentioning your physical health reminds me that I really need to take better care of mine now that my mind is doing better. My eating habits have been pretty bad over the last few years and my addiction to soft drinks certainly isn't helping. I've started cooking real, healthier meals lately which is good but kicking the soft drinks habit is going to be hell.

Electromax, I'm glad that working from home turned out alright for you. Most of the people I know found it really isolating. As for myself, I was part of the only team at my job which was required to be on-site (since we provided and repaired the laptops the regular workers used to work from home) so I had more social contacts that most people during most of the pandemic.

By the way, I just took a look at your DeviantArt and wow, you are a mapping *beast* and I'm definitely going to spend an hour of two browsing your gallery! I'm envious of your technical skills, as they apparently enable you to map so many more (complicated) games than people like me who have reached the limits of their abilities. Or at least, I'm not ready to invest the time and energy required to approach your level, or the interest really. I still make maps when the mood strikes, but I'm also splitting my time with another recent hobby. Working on my own personal fonts have guided me to the amazing world of conlangs and although I'm a complete amateur, I'm having fun coming up with ways to "encrypt" text graphically!

DarkWolf, I hope you're taking care of yourself and that your work situation improves. Also, your mention of Black Stone reminded me that I still grateful for your Texture Skewing utility. It helped fuel my interest in mapping isometric games.

Revned, it's good to hear from you too. We haven't talked in ages!

Don't feel too bad about having trouble socializing. I'm only just starting to socialize on my own after nearly three decades so you can't be worse than me . I think my gaming evolution has reached a similar point to yours, in that I find games for the platforms of my youth (NES, Game Boy, Genesis, SNES) increasingly harder to enjoy as time passes. Nostalgia doesn't seem to work as much as it once did, though I'll still occasionally play an old favourite. Lately, I've been playing Switch exclusives as well as some smaller indie PC games and having a lot of fun.

Like you, I've also given up on my more ambitious mapping projects or at least, I'm not holding hope that I'll ever finish them. I'm usually working on more personal maps for obscure games that few people know about or trying to put my own spin on famous games (which is hard to do when you're assembling screenshots), but I'm still having fun, which is the goal for me after all. I hope the passion comes back to you sometimes soon!

Grizzly, it's too bad that your mapping tool fell through and I think I sort of understand the feeling of working so hard for so long on something but ending up making it worse in the long run. Hopefully, you still find enjoyment in your other coding projects because it sounds like you're not lacking in terms of ideas, which is good. As for playing for play's sake, I think that's very healthy! I'll usually oscillate between "playing for fun" and "playing to map" a few times a year with each phase lasting several months. To me, it's almost like a mental "detox".

Your mention of finding it exhausting to talk to other people reminds me a lot of myself before I starting my medication (not suggesting your situation is like me though). I don't know about you, but what I found difficult to deal with was this constant anxiety about saying the wrong thing and being judged for it. Constantly second-guessing myself during *every* single social interaction was incredibly exhausting and such an ingrained reflex that I only felt the fatigue while not even noticing most or all of the toxic thoughts. I don't know how much of an obstacle this is for you but I hope you find some way to relax and enjoy yourself without worrying about all that pandemic stuff.

StarFighters76, I have to admit that for the longest time, I hadn't realized (or had simply forgotten) that you were the author of the vast majority of the original maps on GameFAQs! Given that you never use in-game graphics for your work, you're probably the mapper in the best possible position to try and make money with them, though you should still be careful from a legal standpoint.

A number of months back, someone named Phillip Summers started a Kickstarter to create hand-drawn game guides for older NES games that would not feature any official graphics or artwork. The project looked really cool and the art style meshed really well with those from game manuals of the time. Unfortunately, he was contacted by an unnamed lawyer and had to cancel the campaign. The guides are thankfully still available though and for free (check out the latest updates on the Kickstarter page for the links) but it sucks that the creator can't make money for his hard and impressive work (although you can pay what-you-want for a kind of making-of art book for the series). But hey, if you ever manage to make it work financially, make sure to tell us so that we can celebrate!

As for the various mentions of a Discord, I used to be pretty much against the concept. I grew up with message boards and I was never into linear chat rooms where things go too fast and discussions are hard to follow. However, my position has softened somewhat lately as I've been following a Discord server, Marioverse, that was the successor to the Reddit board Project Marioverse which is centered around mapping out the Super Mario universe. If a VGMaps Discord was ever created, I can't promise I would be a big participant but I would certainly try to be more active than I've been here.

[StarFighters76]

StarFighters76, I have to admit that for the longest time, I hadn't realized (or had simply forgotten) that you were the author of the vast majority of the original maps on GameFAQs! Given that you never use in-game graphics for your work, you're probably the mapper in the best possible position to try and make money with them, though you should still be careful from a legal standpoint.

A number of months back, someone named Phillip Summers started a Kickstarter to create hand-drawn game guides for older NES games that would not feature any official graphics or artwork. The project looked really cool and the art style meshed really well with those from game manuals of the time. Unfortunately, he was contacted by an unnamed lawyer and had to cancel the campaign. The guides are thankfully still available though and for free (check out the latest updates on the Kickstarter page for the links) but it sucks that the creator can't make money for his hard and impressive work (although you can pay what-you-want for a kind of making-of art book for the series). But hey, if you ever manage to make it work financially, make sure to tell us so that we can celebrate!

I think for me, this is my ideal way of making money:

1. A site willing to pay for each map I have to be hosted on their site. I did this in 08 with a site called ChapterCheats, and while I did get a few hundred dollars out of it, they realized that their gimmick didn't work so well when it came to me, so we parted way, even though someone is using my name on their site and there is no way to contact the owner to get that fixed.

2. Ad revenue would also be nice. GameFAQs years ago was working on the idea of ad revenue, where they would place on ads on every walkthrough/map and we would get paid through that. Unfortunately CBSI (at the time) decided after years of debating, they just didn't want to bother with it. Now that GameFAQs is owned by Red Ventures, maybe it could happen, but I highly doubt it.

3. Donations. Since I started using Twitter, I decided to put a donation link in my profile to my PayPal account, to get donations. So far that's gotten me about $55. I figure I should do this as another way to get paid, seeing as for some unknown reason GameFAQs decided to remove the donation link from all maps (regardless of the creator), but kept the donation link for written guides.

So any combination of those would be pretty ideal for me. Sure it wouldn't amount to much, but it's something.

Also a friend  (who is an game developer himself) gave me an idea about mapping out indie games, which I mean, I suppose I could look into it, but I'd have to think long and hard about that.

But yeah, 20 years and 3,600 maps, I think it's time I start getting a little bit more out of it than what I have been lol.

[Cleeem]

Hello to all of you, 
I just saw the subject.

I see that everyone had specific moments for work or health with more or less ease. I am happy to see that difficult moments are behind for some of you.

I am leaving an intense and wonderful experience on vgmaps. I was delighted to make maps. It was even a number ONE priority to make a lot of them and quickly. All the games that were important to me and with a missing status on vgmaps, I made them, it was possible to reach that dream, it's wonderful! 

2022 is starting very well. I am experiencing a superb physical rejuvenation and very old emotional and nostalgic attachments have disappeared from my life with lightness a short time ago.

On the vgmaps side, the map on Darkmere put forward by Jon as " map of the month ", gave me the desire to discover in depth the Amiga world and it was an excellent moment !

I wish you all the best in your lives. May you be filled with grace in each present moment.

[JonLeung]

Near the end of 2020, after years of dabbling with little game-related infographic projects, I started a more focused effort to make some maps for Grand Theft Auto III because I just went for the PS4's platinum trophy and felt the materials out there didn't do a great job communicating visually, given we could now fly around the map in noclip.website and the like.

I just did a search on these forums and noticed no one else had mentioned noclip.website.  Why hasn't this been discussed in its own topic thread?  This is amazing, being able to view maps of polygonal games from the N64 to the Wii and 3DS.  If there isn't already, I would like to see if there could be a way to easily extract and present 3D polygonal maps, and if they could be encased into a standardized file format, etc.

[TerraEsperZ]

Weird... I've heard of that site so many times in so many different places that I sort of assumed it had been posted here before.

[Grizzly]

It has been discussed here: VGCartography - getting to work on PS1 maps! - but not in an own topic thread.

I still haven't looked further into it and how new games can be made available but it still looks very promising.

[JonLeung]

So, for whatever reason, I never really used discord much... (Other than for trading stuff in Animal Crossing, for Nookazon...)

But, I figured I should set up a VGMaps discord server, since there was some interest in it, as mentioned earlier in this thread.

Here's the link:
https://discord.gg/c3nw5SBAaa

If it goes well, maybe I'll link to it from the front page.